Who I am.
I was raised on a farm in West Central Minnesota. I was severely handicapped because of my stuttering from the age of seven until nineteen. My refusal to talk or read hampered my educati...view moreWho I am.
I was raised on a farm in West Central Minnesota. I was severely handicapped because of my stuttering from the age of seven until nineteen. My refusal to talk or read hampered my educational growth. Football and track were my only rewards to staying in school. I was extremely shy and alcohol gave me the needed courage to feel like I fit in. I was the evil narcissistic pathological liar who lived a life filled with drunken displays of anger and fights. Blackouts were a common occurrence. Every time I got into trouble I vowed to never drink again. The Darkside continually convinced me that this time it would be different. It never was. Three geographical changes did not help. I kept bringing myself along. I did not realize that I possessed many undesirable qualities. I saw everyone else as harmful to my existence and the source of my distress. There is a saying, if you are not the source of your discomfort there is no dealing with any difficulty. Part of the solution is to turn my will and life over to a God of my understanding. He will assist me in becoming a whole person. Herein lies the problem. I saw God as a punishing God and there is no way I am turning my will and my life over to someone who is going to impose a penalty for any violation of His laws. Actually I do that on my own with my actions. Karma will decide my fate in any future existence. The result was that I never found the peace and serenity that I so craved. Everyone has a purpose in life. At different stages of my life my purpose did not follow God's plan. Being a convert of the Darkside I used people. I tested their love and patience. I suffered twenty-two years of depression because of my rage turned inward. My biggest mistake was thinking that my true happiness was based on widespread respect and admiration from others. I constantly did things that were destructive to my moral well-being. I was under the impression that my happiness would come from the perfect relationship, having the best car, belonging to the right social club in the perfect neighborhood. My life had to be flawless at all times. All I ever wanted was to ease my grief, be loved and to realize the true meaning of life. Nothing from out there will bring me the source of satisfaction and contentment that I crave until I surrender myself to a God of my understanding. He is the true source of my Hope and wisdom. It was at this time that God introduced me to the Prayer of Saint Francis. It changed my life forever. It taught me that everything I wanted out of life I had to first give to others. Doing on to others plays an extensive part in finding true happiness. This book contains a blueprint in helping you to get closer to a God of your understanding. I do not intend to tell you who your God must be. As an author it is my goal to open your mind to the benefits of seeking God first thing in the morning. It is important that each individual spend a chosen amount of time talking to God in prayer. Equally important is a time spent listening to God for your answers. This can only happen if you are free of anger and resentments. Forgive anyone who you have perceived to have done any Injustice. As I put the prayer into action in my life and live by it's principles I immediately received peace and serenity. That can only be achieved by finding God and introducing Him into your life. I wish to give spiritual advisors daily material to help others with their everyday routines. Hopefully I can inspire you to find a power greater than yourself. Thank You Jesus!
June of 2022.
Yours truly,
James P. Schreinerview less