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Mary Feagan
A nun for eleven years, I began saying goodbye to Old Judge God as I considered leaving the convent. An intimidating concept of God had dominated my life for too long. I left in 1968 when I was 29 ...view moreA nun for eleven years, I began saying goodbye to Old Judge God as I considered leaving the convent. An intimidating concept of God had dominated my life for too long. I left in 1968 when I was 29 years old; then for many years I wandered half-consciously among both old and new concepts of God, not ready to sort out my personal theology.
When I was about 50, after two divorces and many confusing relationships, one more ruined romance brought me to my knees and to my unfinished business with God. I found I mostly needed a Mother God, and in gently mothering myself, I felt the presence of an inner self I named Grandmama God. I had just taken a Voice Dialogue workshop with Hal and Sidra Stone, where I had practiced meeting and speaking from my various selves. So I practiced hearing my critic, negotiating with my pusher, calming my pleaser, loving my child, and talking things over with Grandmama God. In these conversations, and with a new sense of Granddaddy God as well, I found in my quiet creative times the love I had been longing for. And my poems.
I lived in Atlanta most of my adult life. Now I live in St. Louis, my hometown, near my amazing and wonderful family. I sit for two or three hours most mornings in my mercy chair, reading, writing and belly-breathing. Once a week I enjoy a fantastic group studying A Course in Miracles. I teach "Right-brain Drawing" in an adult learning series. I swim and work on weight machines twice a week. Other days I walk, often with a poem I'm memorizing. I say poems at open mikes at least once a week. My women’s group is so supportive, and I am always making new men and women friends at churches and coffee houses. I practice living from my heart, my true Self. My life is a sweet miracle.view less