I am a journal writer and have written consistently for twenty-five years and intermittently for fifty. From these hundreds of thousands pages I've culled fourteen stories which I offer here with m...view moreI am a journal writer and have written consistently for twenty-five years and intermittently for fifty. From these hundreds of thousands pages I've culled fourteen stories which I offer here with my drawings.
I've lived most of my life in New York City but was European through my mid-teens. Today, at seventy-eight, I feel almost as confused and incapable of handling my life as when I was that teenager. I would have thought that my several long-term relationships, eighteen years in psychotherapy, careers in architecture, modern dance, fashion, film-making, and decades of dedication to exercise and nutrition – would be foundation enough to give me a steady hand. That seems not to have happened. I remain frightened of people, any interaction provokes anxiety. Yet, I long to be in the world and in many ways, physically, I am. But inside, I'm still inside.
"Who cares?" my friend asks. I care. I want out of this prison, my prison, to show myself in these journal-derived stories. My fears and dysfunction are vivid and evident; however, I believe, my writing expresses what we all feel subconsciously, then suppress, and is, therefore, interesting and relevant.
I crave transparency of myself, my self, and that is why I write.view less