Pretend I'm Dead: A Novel

Written by Jen Beagin

Narrated by Candace Thaxton

NAMED A BEST BOOK of the YEAR by O, THE OPRAH MAGAZINE, REFINERY 29, and KIRKUS REVIEWS
SHORTLISTED FOR THE CENTER FOR FICTION FIRST NOVEL PRIZE

The “wondrous” (O, The Oprah Magazine), “scathingly funny” (Entertainment Weekly) debut from Whiting Award winner and author of Big Swiss Jen Beagin about a cleaning lady named Mona and her quest for self-acceptance.

Jen Beagin’s funny, moving, fearless debut novel introduces an unforgettable character, Mona—almost twenty-four, emotionally adrift, and cleaning houses to get by. She falls for a man she calls Mr. Disgusting, who proceeds to break her heart in unimaginable ways.

In search of healing, she decamps to Taos, New Mexico, for a fresh start, where she finds a community of cast-offs, all of whom have something to teach her—the pajama-wearing, blissed-out New Agers, the slightly creepy client with peculiar tastes in controlled substances, the psychic who might really be psychic. But always lurking just beneath the surface are her memories of growing up in a chaotic, destructive family from which she’s trying to disentangle herself, and the larger legacy of the past.

The story of Mona’s quest for belonging in this world is at once hilarious and wonderfully strange, true to life and boldly human, and introduces a stunning, one-of-a-kind new voice in American fiction.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio
• Release date: May 15, 2018
• ISBN: 9781508265887

Jen Beagin

Jen Beagin holds an MFA in creative writing from the University of California, Irvine, and is a recipient of a Whiting Award in fiction. Her first novel Pretend I’m Dead was shortlisted for the Center for Fiction’s First Novel Prize and Vacuum in the Dark was shortlisted for the Bollinger Everyman Wodehouse Prize for comic fiction. She is also the author of Big Swiss. She lives in Hudson, New York.

Reviews for Pretend I'm Dead

[Kath · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Strange, dark, and humorous. This book is not for everyone, that's for sure.

[Polly Remedios · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

this story was ok. it wasnt totally clear about "when" the story took place, and the main character was a bit of an annoying stress case. but she was mostly funny at least.

[nancy nagle · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Wonderful book!! Can’t wait to read more from this author.

[memechel · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Different because it’s real life depicted with honesty and absent of bias.

[Sandra Wigton · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Vivid, original, and deeply funny. Which is not to say it isn't painful.

[Joshua Luis Tre Van · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

It made me forget I was babysitting the kids I was watching weren’t fed dinner but I didn’t eat either. It made me wonder if I was a lesbian in love but it’s over now. I’m disgustingly still straight but at least I know…

[ken5me5old5mate · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

If I make the analogy of taking a trip, like a trip to the big city is reading a Pullitzer or Booker, a walk in the country is like nature based non-fiction, then this book is like a walk around a part of your home town that you've seen but never really visited because it is a bit seedy, slightly industrial and has a questionable reputation.

But once you are there, it's actually not as bad as people think, sure it stinks by the freezing works and the river is a strange colour, but hey, it's a sunny day, enjoy it before it gets dark.

[lisapeet · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This was an oddball, prickly little book, but well done—it flirts with being what I call misery porn, but is saved by its utter unpredictability at every step. The narrator, Mona, is somewhat of an aimless hot mess in her early 20s, cleaning houses, taking photographs, collecting odds and ends (both human and inanimate), staying home alone a lot, and musing at length on everything that crosses her path, But she's not really a mope so much as dry and prickly, even as regards her neglected, abusive childhood. Beagin's decision to stick to the third person is a good one, I think, taking the sharpest edge of indulgence away from Mona's voice. But what kept me along for the ride was the fact that you never had any idea where it was going at any given moment—a refreshing place to be as a reader. Also, I'm always interested in personal takes on housecleaning, fictional or non-, and Mona's engagement with what she did was all about the act of cleaning itself, rather than any class or societal implications—so, obviously fictional, but kind of intriguing nonetheless. This read more like something I would have been into in my 20s, a disaffected Denis-Johnsonish type narrative, but young and female, and in parts I found myself annoyed by its haplessness. But overall the novel was just so weird that it stayed in my good graces. Even the format—four extremely loosely linked long chapters—made sense as a way to narrate a clearly very episodic life. I have the sequel and will definitely give it a whirl as well.

[sj1335 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

ow, this was different! I've not read anything quite like it before or at least in a while. I'm not sure really how to write the review, the protagonist, Mona kept me on my toes that's for sure. Mona seems to be a tortured soul who is a cleaning lady by choice, she takes great pride in her work. She goes from volunteering in Lowell, MA by handing out clean needles to addicts one evening a week to ending up in Taos, New Mexico starting her own cleaning service.I have to admit this is was a fast read and it held my interest as I stated earlier Mona kept me guessing throughout the entire book. It did have an odd ending, I had read that in other reviews before I reading this novel.I would like to thank the publisher and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this e-galley in exchange for an honest opinion

[froxgirl · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Quirky, quippy, grotesque - all covered in this brief adventure of a cleaning woman, a modern day slightly older-but-just-as-wiseass-Holden-Caufield, on the wrong path to nowhere. The novel begins in Lowell ("The Hole"), MA, where Mona volunteers handing out clean works to junkies and falls in love with one - the way older Mr. Disgusting. He's got his attractions - or maybe one - he's a good conversationalist when he's not nodding out. As is Mona - she's actually pretty hilarious and has a self-denigrating snappy remark for most occasions. She's also off her meds. When Lowell and Mona's time with Mr. Disgusting come to a pitiful end, she takes her chaos on the road to Taos, where she has internal discussions with God ("Bob"), and meets a psychic with true ability; a mindful neighbor couple (Yoko and Yoko); and an actual best friend. There are plenty of laughs here, but it's still a very sad recounting.Quotes: "She'd always equated the viewing of other people's personal snapshots with hearing about the dream they'd had the previous night.""Do you have trouble saying no to people?" "No", Mona said. "I mean yes."