Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward

Written by Gemma Hartley

Narrated by Thérèse Plummer

A rousing call to arms, packed with surprising insights, that explores how carrying ""the mental load""—the thankless day-to-day anticipating of needs and solving of problems large and small—is adversely affecting women’s lives and feeding gender inequality, and shows the way forward for better balancing our lives.

Launching a heated national conversation with her viral article ""Women Aren’t Nags; We’re Just Fed Up""—viewed over two billion times—journalist Gemma Hartley gave voice to the frustration and anger of countless women putting in the hidden, underappreciated, and absolutely draining mental work that consists of keeping everyone in their lives comfortable and happy. Bringing long overdue awareness to the daunting reality of emotional labor in our lives, Hartley defines the largely invisible but demanding, time-consuming, and exhausting ""worry work"" that falls disproportionately and unfairly on all women—no matter their economic class or level of education.

Synthesizing a wide variety of sources—history, sociology, economics, psychology, philosophy, and anthropology—Hartley makes the invisible visible, unveiling the surprising shapes emotional labor takes at work, at home, in relationships, and in parenting. With on-the-ground reporting, identifiable personal stories and interviews from around the world, this feminist manifesto will empower women to transform their inner dialogue and give all women the emotional fortitude and courage to ask for what we most want—without shame, without guilt, and without the emotional baggage.

Beyond naming the problem, Fed Up offers practical advice and solutions for teaching both men and women how to wield emotional labor to live more full and satisfying lives. Hartley helps us to see emotional labor not as a problem to be overcome, but as a genderless virtue we can all learn to channel in our quest to make a better, more egalitarian world for ourselves and most importantly, our children. Insightful, surprising, deeply relatable, and filled with all too familiar moments, this provocative, intelligent, and empathetic guide is essential reading for every woman who has had enough with feeling fed up.

• Language: English
• Publisher: HarperCollins
• Release date: Nov 13, 2018
• ISBN: 9780062884947

Gemma Hartley

Gemma Hartley is a freelance journalist who received her BA in English Writing from the University of Nevada, Reno. Her work has been published in Glamour, The Washington Post, Harper's Bazaar, Women's Health, and The Huffington Post amongmany others. She lives in Reno, Nevada with her husband and three children.

Reviews for Fed Up

[Vanessa Diaz · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I love the topic and I like how full of examples it is, at a certain point it just felt repetitive though. Maybe if I were a man listening to this it would be much more enlightening, but since I’m a woman and all the examples she shares are pretty comparable to mine or any woman I know, it started to get a bit long. Regardless, highly recommend this to men and to any women who are frustrated and still like to play the “good woman” or “good mom” role.

[Andie Hansen · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book is important. As a male, I wanted to understand more about emotional labor and how I can become a better partner, and this book gave me plenty of food for thought. It's not easy reading, and at times it felt repetitive, but I got the sense it was more about hammering home the message than about trying to cater to the male ego, so I have nothing but praise for this book. (In fact, the book explores its main theme in a huge array of contexts, from politics to child-rearing to business, to rape culture. So it's not repetitive.) I hope to be more mindful of the invisible labor that goes on all around me, and to work towards more egalitarian relationship dynamics.