The worst thing about having your hair cut has finally been eliminated

Generally speaking, I get my hair cut but once a year. I tell people it’s because the criminal cost of a trim these days would require me to flog a kidney, but the real story is that I find the experience almost unbearable.

There’s the part where you, a non-hairdresser, must somehow muster the words to describe what you’d like, invoking an entire secret language – “oh, I was thinking of a semi-undercut with a French shag and a double-tuck, round-off, back-handspring? Maybe with some long layers at the back?” – or else stab mutely at a picture of , as if the stylist