and it’s live! exclam. Excited preamble to whistling down the Y-fronts, spoken in the style of erstwhile Sky football commentator Martin Tyler.
anything further from the prosecution? exclam. Asked of a party who has, in the words of Geoffrey Chaucer, “let fly a great fart, the like of a thunderdent”. Whatever a thunderdent is.
baptising Mr Brown n. Futile attempts to flush away a particularly recalcitrant arse baby that shows no signs of budging.
Bic arse euph. Lavatory adventure postscript in which drawing an ace proves impossible, as the brown ink refuses to run out.
bowel buddies n. Two people who work in the same building who only know each other due to always having their morning Donald in adjacent cubicles at exactly the same time each day.
bum-roll 1. n. Toilet tissue, arsewad. 2. n. A rumbling Lionel Bart which builds up anticipation and tension preceding the imminent arrival of a Peter O’Toole. Followed by a splash.
but there’s a ‘U’ in ‘cunt’ exclam. Correct response to the office twat who, fresh from a round of managerial buzzword bingo, comes out with “there’s no ‘I’ in ‘team’…”
cananza n. A veritable feast of tin-based supping at home. A housebound Leo Sayer. ‘I’m not gannin’ oot the day, like. Just having meself a cananza
