I've never been to a textile fetish convention, but I imagine one to look similar to the scene that greeted me as I walked to my allocated R 1300 GS. Everywhere I looked were tens of textile suits, of all shapes, sizes, and colours, sported by a raft of hardcore adventure bike riders who had likewise bagged a golden ticket to test BMW's box-fresh behemoth. While I'm not unfamiliar with being stared at for all the wrong reasons, these guys seemed particularly disgusted by my image, being as perplexed as they were concerned by my prescience. Their reason for doing so was my choice of attire: full leathers, race boots, and a track helmet sprayed so bright it could burn their retinas at a distance of 20 metres. You could say I was as out of place as a nun in a strip club, looking every bit like the kid who had to wear lost property for sports day. It was an awkward moment, but my thinking was considered, if not a little hopeful. While I was yet to cock a leg over the most powerful, lightest and smartest GS to grace BMW's flagship family, I knew from previous experience that this model's predecessors possessed a sporting disposition lesser known to most but adored by myself and those lucky enough to have had a proper hustle on a Boxer. Despite their size, weight and general consumption by owners who fundamentally want to cover big miles in consummate comfort with their bellies sitting firmly on their tanks, I've learned over the years that these bikes are capable of knee-down, big wheelies, and even bigger skids… and I hoped this latest iteration would be no different. In fact, I was counting on it, else I really was set to look a nob. The day's agenda consisted of a 400km road ride, taking in a mix of mountainous scenery, town work, and even a stint on the
