‘I felt like I was being ritually tortured’: the most shocking moments in Britney Spears’ memoir

She has never really known freedom

As a child, Britney escaped her difficult home life – her alcoholic father often rowing with her mother – into the outdoors, which “gave me a sense of aliveness and danger”, she writes. Performing also makes her feel invincible. But by the age of 16, she is public property – incapable of going outside without being mobbed, and her love of singing and dancing now a lucrative resource.

By the time of her second album, she wants for so little: skinny-dipping with her dancers after playing Rock in Rio in January 2001 is one of her happiest memories. “It was a taste of rebellion and freedom, but I was just having fun and being a 19-year-old,” she writes. After her split from Justin Timberlake, she dreams about quitting pop and opening a shop: “With the gift of hindsight I can see that I hadn’t given myself enough time to heal from the breakup,” she writes – though her requests for a break are not only turned down, but interpreted as a potential sign of sedition to be quashed and interrogated.

In this restrictive environment, small kindnesses take on an outsized significance, like Paris Hilton encouraging her “to have fun for the first time in a long time”, leading to some infamous nights out with the heiress and Lindsay Lohan. Once again, Britney is seen as stepping out of bounds, potentially damaging her earning potential. One night she has her mother babysit her sons; when she returns home tipsy, Lynne Spears screams at her, she writes. “The shame I felt killed my heart. I stood there, reeling, and thought, OK, I guess it’s forbidden for me to party.” As the restrictions get tighter, Britney