BREAKING THE LAW
I got arrested today – apparently it’s “illegal” to shave, brush your teeth, make a phone call, take a nap, have a glass of wine and read a newspaper.
Driving really sucks nowadays.
GONE SHOPPING
My wife came home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, two bottles of whisky and two loaves of bread.
Me: “Are we expecting guests?”
My wife: “No.”
Me: “Then why did you buy so much