In Oscar Wilde’s novel The Picture of Dorian Gray, Dorian makes a deal with the devil to stay young forever. The only thing that shows his true age is a portrait he keeps in his attic. Unlike Dorian, I never made a pact with the devil, and I don’t have an aging portrait in my attic. But I do keep a pair of hotpants up there – to remind me of the wasted opportunities of my youth.
I bought these hotpants when I was 20 and working as a model. Every time I put them on, my eyes would zoom in on some perceived fault. A curve here, a dimple there, and I would decide that I didn’t look good enough to wear them, so I’d take