Those are the words of Ross McCarthy, taken from a farewell letter he wrote to his family before his death by suicide in February 2021. McCarthy had been suffering with severe depression for ten years and had been placed on a six-month waiting list for therapy. He died two weeks into the wait.
Despite the devastation caused by McCarthy’s death, his final words have been used as inspiration by his dad, Mike McCarthy, to create Baton of Hope, the biggest suicide awareness and prevention initiative the UK has ever seen. A tour of 12 UK cities, starting on Sunday 25 June in Glasgow before reaching Downing Street in London on 6 July, the Baton will be carried by those who have lost loved ones to suicide. The Baton itself has been crafted by silversmiths Thomas Lyte, known for making the FA Cup and Ryder Cup trophies. The aim, explains McCarthy, a former TV reporter, is to draw attention to a subject that remains taboo, while also honouring his son’s dying wish.
“The fact that he wanted to do something, and to improve something, was typical of Ross,” says Mike. “He
