Eating Fast Is Bad for You—Right?
For as long as I have been feeding myself—which, for the record, is several decades now—I have been feeding myself fast. I bite big, in rapid succession; my chews are hasty and few. In the time it takes others to get through a third of their meal, mine is already gone. You could reasonably call my approach to eating pneumatic, reminiscent of a suction-feeding fish or a Roomba run amok.
Where my vacuuming mouth goes, advice to constrain it follows. Internet writers have declared ; self-described “foodies” lament that there’s than watching a guest inhale a painstakingly prepared meal. There are even children’s songs that warn against the . My family and friends—most of whom have long since learned to avoid “splitting” entrees with me—often comment on my speed. “Slow down,” one of my aunts fretted at a recent meal. “Don’t
