The car door shuts loudly in the still of the early morning silence. That will be the end of any feeling of warmth over the next few hours. Trudging heavily straight up the mountain, breathing hard, steam rising quickly in response to the 4 degrees…what on earth am I doing here?
Would it not be easier to lie in bed and let the world pass me by?
I turn up the volume on my earphones, music blaring in an otherwise silent world. If I can just drown out the pain, maybe it doesn’t exist anymore. Onwards I move, trying desperately to hold onto the pace of my husband James. I used to push him in training, but not now. It was the reality for me in this moment and it was hard to accept.
I didn’t like being the one behind…ever. But it didn’t matter. I was here, and that’s all that did.
Six months
