Alan Brett’s original 900-word story was an ambitious attempt to fuse big themes, metaphors, family dynamics and a long chronology. The main issue was that it had virtually no scenes. It was mostly authorial summary – classic telling rather than showing – so it read more like a sketch or an essay bookended by a relatively forced image. The theme behind the story was much more forceful than the story itself, overpowering it. You can read the original version here: https://www.writers-online.co.uk/howto-write/your-writing-workshoppedthe-love-of-music/
One of Alan’s initial concerns with the piece was whether the characters were credible. The problem was that they hadn’t yet come alive on the page. They were authorial puppets and barely spoke. Another question was whether Alan should write so overtly about political/ religious tensions and a real person, Daniel Baremboim, who set up the Unity Orchestra. These were far less pressing concerns than a lack of compelling narrative.
