→ IF YOU COMMUNICATE with people throughout the day—basically, if you’re human—then you, like me, sometimes find yourself “following up,” “circling back,” and generally coming to terms with being ignored, especially considering all the other instances in your life in which you might go unheard. (No response to a “let’s reconnect” DM to an old friend; crickets when you ask your landlord to renew your lease; no answer from the doctor’s office, even three days later; hello, barista?) At a certain point, feeling invisible can begin to take a toll on your mental health.
In fact, Kipling D. Williams, Ph.D., a professor of psychological sciences at Purdue University, found that being ignored literally hurts—it triggers the same part of the brain that registers physical pain. Technically, you’re experiencing ostracism. You may think of ostracism as
