My back wheel is being held aloft by a giant cow standing up on two legs. I’m unable to achieve forward momentum and start swaying from side to side, my feet trapped in my pedals and fingers furiously gripping the brake hoods. It seems I’m having that dream again. Only this time I’ve remembered to wear my bib shorts…
‘Go, go, go!’ I’m pushed forward by the black and white Friesian, who turns out to be the Smithams Chimney Hill Climb race organiser Mark Jerzak in a cunning disguise, and swiftly become pitched into battle with my Sunday-morning nemesis, a local legend that’s been tormenting West Country cyclists for decades. Standing 2km in length and with an average gradient of 7.4%, Smitham Hill in East Harptree, Somerset, might not trouble the Hardknott Pass or Bamford Clough in the battle to become Britain’s toughest cycling ascent, but its varied elevation (141m in total) and distance make it a perfect platform for a hill-climb event.
“It has a snaking, steep start, then a plateau, before rising up again towards the finish,” Mark tells me in the post-race clubhouse. “It’s a tough ascent as it’s such a varied gradient. But it’s a classic climb of the Mendip Hills and
