HAALAND 57 BLACKPOOL 0
rling Haaland stands over the twitching corpse of Chris Maxwell, after maiming the Blackpool goalkeeper with a Mitre Delta. He’s just bagged his 57th goal of this FA Cup tie, with seven minutes still to play. It’s rumoured that the Norwegian spent the World Cup rigged up to a giant placenta beneath Stonehenge for a deep, regenerative sleep, finally re-emerging with an extra yard of pace and
