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  • The Guardian

    I used to be ashamed of being a fangirl. Now I see how joyous and creative it was

    Oct 15, 2022 5 minutes

    It’s the summer of 2009. The sun is offering the bare minimum for June, but I have my back to the window, methodically typing out a letter to Lady Gaga. The two-page-long document is full of personal details and intimate thoughts, such as the worry I’ll never feel good enough or fit in at school. I pour my heart out to her and swim in the subsequent dopamine hits of a perfect one-way relationship.

    I never told anyone about my love for Lady Gaga due to the shame of looking like an over-obsessive fangirl. While there’s now a cultural roadmap for teen girls idolising their favourite boybands, back then I had no idea how to showcase my obsession without looking unhinged.

    But, thankfully, I have learned to revel in what it means to be

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