Picking up on the subtle signs that someone is struggling can make you a great friend, but when empathy leaves us overwhelmed by the pain of others, the gift can become a curse. Experiencing the distress of others too intensely can be all-consuming – but how can we stop ourselves becoming emotional sponges, soaking up our loved ones’ feelings?
Understanding empathy
Described in the 1970s by American philosopher Susanne Langer as the ‘involuntary breach of individual separateness’, empathy definitely has its upsides – it allows us to step into another’s shoes, to tap into their joy, to share their highs. And empathy can help us tolerate people’s actions, because we understand the emotions behind their behaviours. Plus, it enables us to predict how others might react in tricky situations, and to respond appropriately.
Levels of empathy vary from one person to the next: some of us naturally tap into
