I’ve been thinking about wigs ever since my old friend Anne, a contemporary of Joan Collins, pronounced an explanation for the superstar’s perennial glamour.
‘The reason she always looks so good is that she’s always wearing a wig or, at the very least, a hairpiece. Surely you’ve noticed?’ scolded Anne, whose manner towards the slow-witted can be accusing. ‘You must have noticed. People with big heads are always attractive.
‘Everyone finds children appealing to look at. that makes her attractive.’