Of all the courses I had to take at the start of my media career more than 20 years ago, one was easily my favourite. It was a course where we were taught to never take ownership of another person’s feelings. “I’m sorry you choose to feel that way,” I repeated after the teacher over and again. If someone chose to feel upset by something I’d said, written or done, well, it was on them. Between you and me, I learnt the spiel but as a committed empath and chronic apologiser I’ve simply never been able to utter it to anyone.
SORRY, NOT SORRY
THE CHALLENGE
Dilvin Yasa fights the urge to apologise
I realise there are a slew of studies that show that over-apologisers tend to have lower self-esteem and command less respect from others, but when I accepted this challenge and take the time to reflect on why I apologise for things like asking a sales assistant to check for more product out the back, it’s because I believe social niceties make the world a happier place. Apologising – even if you don’t mean it – is basically the social equivalent of speaking gently to a spooked horse. Over the years, personal experience has taught me that people simply respond better to “please”, “thank you” and “much appreciated”, and provided you don’t think of it as a weakness, saying them costs nothing at all.
