8 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT

Lately, my Instagram feed is awash with assertive reminders that it’s OK to set firm boundaries with people, or even to unapologetically walk away from anyone who disrespects those boundaries. But, in practice, it can be hard to know what it really means to set and maintain a boundary with a friend, family member or colleague. After all, do you need to verbalise a boundary, or do unspoken ones count? How do you let someone know that they’ve breached a boundary without sounding like a dictator? And what about when someone breezily claims they’re setting a boundary but it looks more like they’re justifying unkind behaviour?

‘The word “boundary” almost implies putting up a protective barrier between yourself and others,’ agrees women’s empowerment coach Katie Phillips. ‘It has a defensive energy, and I think a lot of people misuse boundaries as a way to push others away. In fact, setting a boundary is less