Calling a GAY SPADE A GAY SPADE

or some of us, coming-out of the closet represents freedom from internalised homophobia and homohysteria. Others, however, comment on how this step engenders a potential dualism: Visibility alongside invisibility and gay pride clouded by ‘straight expectations.’ In my third year of studying at the University of Johannesburg, I started exploring sexuality studies in an attempt to understand my own journey. Akin to other closeted gay men who have not come-out to themselves, let alone others, I retreated into the proverbial closet and sought to secretly ‘investigate’ my supposed counternormative