JAMES v BRIAN v THERESA WHO’S THE BEST MAY?

JAMES

ROUND 1

MUSICAL ABILITY

Despite making his name on Top Gear as one of thirsty filmcrew-walloper Jeremy Clarkson’s motor-mad sidekicks, James originally studied music to degree level at Lancaster University, where he played the flute and piano. And those two instruments are not the only ones on which he can bang out a tune; back in 2015, he posted an internet video of himself practising The British Grenadiers on a descant recorder, a performance which was described by musicologist Miriam Nerval as “not always pleasing”. Nevertheless, it’s a solid opening movement for Captain Slow as he squeaks into an early lead.

Score 8

ROUND 2

YORKSHIRE-BUILT CARS

Although he spent his teenage years in the South Riding town of Rotherham, car-crazed honorary Tyke James seems never to have cemented his link to his northern homeland by buying himself a Yorkshire-built set of wheels. Indeed, a glance through the extensive list of exotic jalopies he has owned down the years – everything from Swedish Saabs, Italian Alfa-Romeos and Japanese Toyotas to German Porsches, French Alpines