I want this pandemic to end – yet I secretly pine for another lockdown

When I walked out of my town’s massive conference center in early April, a second Pfizer shot fresh in my arm, a flood of emotions swelled in me. Creeping behind the feelings of joy and anticipation, I felt a strange bit of sadness that, all the way home, I could not shake. When I walked into my house and my three-year-old dashed into my arms, it hit me.

I think I’m going to miss being locked down, I realised, in disbelief.

I recognise that my sadness came from a place of privilege; I have my life, my health and my work, in addition to the ability to so easily get vaccinated against this virus. I realise that not everyone has been as