Paperback riders

I’m exhausted and can’t continue much further. For several days it has felt like pedalling through treacle. The relentless onslaught of mangled metaphors and clunky similes has drained me. My spirit wilts as the writer’s body ‘blossoms with tiredness’. Even if I make it to the end, there are still four – four! – pages of ‘Author’s acknowledgements’ to read.

I put the book down, wondering how the adventures of amateur cycle-tourers evolved