I’m Scared of the Person TikTok Thinks I Am

Something is wrong with me, and TikTok knows it.

I can tell because its recommendation algorithm keeps providing me with videos that only a horrible person would like. One morning last week, the app recommended a video of a girl in a red dress saying slowly, “I’m officially at the age where I can date you … or your dad.” In the next video, a “doctor” tried to sell me some kind of coffee-based weight-loss drink. An “age reveal” came after, from a woman who looked like she was in her 20s but was actually 43. Then a drinking game involving White Claw. An “alpha female.” A cop. A woman taking a teeth-whitening device out of her mouth and letting drool run down her chin. An art tutorial demonstrating how to paint a picture of your “A$$” as a surprise for your “man.” An Instagrammable rooftop. A tarot-card reading.

This is disturbing because the recommendation algorithm that TikTok uses to, to the point where intelligent people have that it might be used for mind control. TikTok users often refer to the process that produces the feed in front of them as “” algorithm, as if it really were an extension of self. So I ask—though I do not want to—what does TikTok algorithm say about me? (And can it please say something else?)