Jones vs Moore THE BATTLE OF THE SIR TOMS!

SPOST-LOCKDOWN Britain basks in the summer sun, there is one burning topic that’s keeping everyone in the country talking, from Lands End to John O’Groats and from Muckle Stack to Porthcurno. Just WHO (or it might be WHICH) is the best Sir Tom? Is it wild-pelvised Welsh sexbomb SIR TOM JONES, who has been filling women’s knickers with lovejuice since the 60s? Or is it marathon-walking war hero SIR TOM MOORE, who recently marked his centenary by raising £30 million for NHS charities? These two brave Sir Toms now enter the fray and prepare to joust – not with them long sticks like knights of old – but with facts and figures about their lives. At the end of the tournament, only one of them will leave