Destination 2021: What we’ll do differently next year

As 2020 shudders to an end, many of us will be eager to move on, hoping that 2021 shows a path out of a pandemic that has upended our way of life. In that spirit, we asked Monitor writers and editors, near and far, to reflect on what COVID-19 has taken away and what, paradoxically, it has given us. It’s a journey into what we yearn to experience again and what we have come to appreciate most, to the point where we may no longer feel the urge to revert to old ways when the risk recedes.

For some writers, it comes down to habitual pleasures denied, to friendships and family ties put on hold. For others, the pandemic has forced a deeper rethink of what is and isn’t important, from communal gatherings to ritual greetings. Whether these individual aspirations and insights are profound or poignant, all are deeply human impulses grounded in the sense of disruption that an unusual year in world history has wrought. We share them with you as glimpses of what, we hope, will be a brighter future.

– Simon Montlake / Staff writer 

Parental nonguidance suggested

Northampton, Mass.

I look forward to significantly lowering my standards when it comes to parenting. Actually, I plan to toss out the verb “parenting” altogether – that anxiety-laden transformation of a noun into an activity that comes with ideologies, debates, comparisons, success markers. During the pandemic, intensive “family-ing” has pushed intensive parenting out the window at our house. 

And I think that’s good.  

Intensive parents know – because we have read all about it, in our quest to be the best caregivers possible – that pouring unprecedented time, resources, and attention into our children may not have been doing them (or us) many favors. It is relentless, exhausting, and, according to many experts, ill prepares children for realities ranging from boredom to adulthood to laundry.

The pandemic has shifted my focus. My girls do more chores, and they know that I must actually work – and occasionally zone out to “The Home Edit.” They know they can amuse themselves. They know they are part of a family and that means responsibility as well as security. They know they are loved beyond words. After the pandemic I want to keep this approach, with no stressing about extracurriculars, play dates, missing a school day, or “preparing for the future.” I want to stay committed to family-ing. 

– Stephanie Hanes / Correspondent

Harmonic convergence

Toronto

It turns out the activity that I loved the most in Toronto is probably the worst thing you should do in a pandemic – crowd together in a windowless room at the back of a pub, belting out everything from David Bowie to the Beatles. Choir!Choir!Choir!, a weekly drop-in choral group started by two Canadians in 2011, drew me in from the first session I attended in the summer of 2018. It was probably my weakness for “Get Lucky” by Daft Punk.

I hardly ever socialized – I came and sang and took the subway home – but the sense of community, of creating harmony with perfect

Driving Mr. CollinsCroissants and conversation Hollywood in the driveway Neon fonts and hiking jauntsA globe-trotter revels in nestingThe church universalIntimacy at a great distance Going with the crowd A wedding anniversary among the masses Book markedOpening Studio K The pub as a community hearth Tea for two, and two for tea Virtues of subway straps Street food with street cred Vanishing greetings Learning a new language in isolationA new slant on lightCrunch time The sounds of soccer Discovering what’s already there My homemade mobile home That first day of kindergartenOceans away