LEADING FOR TWO

“The outdoors is my therapy, and being able to enjoy it up until I gave birth was a blessing for me.”

I SAT DOWN in the middle of the campsite, slumping against a particularly indifferent pine tree, on the edge of Lac du Matemale, flanked by the beautifully imposing mountains of the Pyrenees, and burst into tears. Not even the offers of croissants and brioche could console me in the face of such disaster.

I had travelled to Les Angles in the eastern Pyrenees to attempt my International Mountain Leader (IML) Summer Assessment, which in itself is an emotional roller coaster and one of the biggest professional development challenges I had faced so far in my career as a freelance outdoor instructor. Not only that, but I was 12 weeks pregnant, constantly sick to my stomach and increasingly feeling like I was losing the plot. I was on tenterhooks and well aware that if I did not pass this time around, it was likely to be a long time before I would be able to give it another try.

The tears were brought on because I had just accidentally deleted all the wildflower photos I had collected that day and lovingly and diligently identified. Or perhaps it was my raging