Calendar girl

I can remember the day I told my mum that I was thinking of making (whisper) a 'nudey calendar: We were in Marks and Spencer's cafe in Bury, near my hometown of Rochdale, having tea and scones.

I was slightly nervous about broaching the subject, despite being a fully-fledged adult with all the trimmings, so it took me half a scone to build up the courage. It felt as ifl was making some momentous announcement, like a sex change or that I had been keeping feral children hostage, even though it was just ... a calendar.

Anyway, I went for it: "Mum:' I said, "I've been thinking of making a calendar:'

"That's nice;' she said, "What kind of calendar?"

I needed at least another third-of-a-scone for the next bit: "A nudey calendar:'

There was a silence. Probably only for about 0.3 of a second, but it felt like ages.

And then with the sort of tact only a Northern mother is capable of, mum said: "Well, it's amazing what they can do with Photoshop, isn't it?"

"Thanks mum;' I said.

But the Milestones calendar series started long before I