Local News

SKATEBOARD TERRORISM REIGNS OVER THE STREETS OF MELBOURNE

A plague of skateboarding terrorism and hooliganism has been gaining traction in the inner-southern suburbs of Melbourne over the past couple of years. A number of reports have been made in the area for acts such as grinding handrails, putting too much wax on the ledge, reckless behaviour, skateboarding beyond your means, drinking too much at the spot and claiming tricks at the bar.

“The ‘fellaboys’ fart-arsed around for the first year or so before realising we had something here,” says Harrison Herkess, a local chippy and skateboarder who is investing a significant chunk of his time into documenting this anti-social behaviour for a video project he calls Local News.

Based on a crew who refer to themselves as ‘the fellaboys’, who came together as a result of being regular enthusiasts of the Prahran skateboard facility, the crew can be seen committing these acts every weekend all over Melbourne.

Productivity and skate missions are predicted to ease after the video’s upcoming deadline in early April. But according to Mr Gareth Stehr, they could be getting “huckatory” for some time to come.

“Coupla young whippersnappers damn upping the game,” says Stehr. “Making me work out here!” he adds as he wipes a fresh pool of beer-sweat from his brow.

Despite Stehr’s predictions, only time will tell what’s next for the so-called ‘fellaboys’.

Local chippy Harrison Herkess has committed most weekends for the past couple of years to film a full-length skate video featuring the aforementioned ‘fellaboys’.

In the year 2019, it’s hard to get kids to watch a three-minute clip, let alone one that goes for nearly half an hour. When asked why he endeavoured upon such a seemingly bleak voyage, he responded, “The boys were just going balls to the mall, but no one out here was filming them, so I just thought it was the right thing to do.”

LOCAL CHIPPY DECIDES THE SKATEBOARD FILMING INDUSTRY IS MUCH