LEAVING THE PARTY
On the surface, Aldous Harding appears to be the kind of musician who doesn’t reveal too much. Her singular strain of gothic-folk music is complex and layered, poetic to the point of being cryptic, and her performances can feel enigmatic at least, haunting at most.
Her ex-boyfriend the musician Marlon Williams spoke in interviews of their separation, but from Harding there was purposeful silence. While her 2017 sophomore record, , wasn’t a breakup, falls into the latter category, perhaps because, as she tells me over the phone from Wales on the cusp of another world tour, she’s resigned to the idea that “they’re just thoughts … they’re just thoughts.” I wrote four of the songs while I was on tour for [in 2018]. I said to John [Parish, the album’s producer], “I think I want to do a record before the end of the year. Do you wanna do that?” He asked if I had all the songs and I lied and said yes. I had good intentions —I knew I would have them, because I had said that I would. After that, I wrote “The Barrel”, “Designer” and “Treasure”. It wasn’t until then that I realised what was happening. The songs were lighter. I wasn’t trying to write them like that, that’s just how they were happening. I remember saying after I did that I was feeling much better and more positive and felt like I had a better grasp on things, and that’s true for this album as well. I think I’ve just grown up and calmed down, which is … it’s nice. The sound is evolving as it should. evolving as I should. I just wanted to make something that was a little bit lighter, you know? I’m not pure now or anything like that, it’s still the same stuff — it’s just a different approach. It doesn’t have to have this heaviness to be serious. You can be serious about your joy, serious about your vitality. When I was starting out, I was shy. It was like a new relationship, and few enter a new relationship and know exactly what their place is, or what they want to do in that place and how much they want to let go. You know, Will I get hurt if I show you these things? The more I did it, the more I let go and allowed the things I’m good at to really come out and be a part of what I was doing. I allowed myself to experiment. I have different levels of being, and I don’t hide those when I perform. I try to embrace them. Oh, but it’s both, it’s both. I’m always aware it’s a performance. In any job, you have to perform to a degree. You know when to turn a certain charm on and off, and as long as you can handle that, I think that’s perfectly OK. It’s a strong advantage if you are in control of all those different parts of yourself. Even if you’re not in control, that’s part of it, too. That’s what’s quite freeing about [performing]; there is no right or wrong way to do it. People either get it and wanna come along or they don’t, and that’s totally fine with me. Going back this time, I realised that, of course, spending time with my mother and being around familiar things is important. I didn’t really allow myself to go there for a while, because I knew that wasn’t my life. There might come a time when I can afford to disappear for a while, but for now it’s what’s to be done. I’m really just starting. It still feels very new.
