CUCKOO WALTZ

I may be the only person going on a cruise with the goal of having a cuckoo clock repaired. Well that’s my principle purpose for the trip, but let me just add that this is no ordinary cuckoo clock. This is a work of art in the form of a traditional German timepiece, and its mechanism is so complex that it’s even defeated Sean, the renowned watch and clock mender at Piccadilly Circus tube station for the last 40 years, and he’s a horological wizard.

So, there’s nothing for it other than a return trip to the Black Forest – to the extraordinary birthplace of my chirping chronometer and, as it happens, also home of the world-famous Black Forest gâteau (it’s a winning combination, I promise). This cruise on the Rhine is a lovely ship to do it on.