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    DOWN TIME.

    Sep 27, 2019 4 minutes
    BY MIKE FERRENTINO | PHOTO: DAVE SMITH

    Boss: How do you reach back there… to wipe yourself?

    Centaur: Uh… there is a device we use, it’s called an Aubesian – it’s a stainless steel telescoping rod, with gripper claws, and a sort of toggle line that allows you to move the paper back and forth.

    Boss: So… there’s a company that manufactures Centaur asswipers?

    Centaur: Aubesians, yes. Um… there’s a store that’s a sort of crate-and-barrel for Centaurs, called Aubesians & Such… there’s one on 57th Street.

    ~ excerpt from “Centaur Job Interview”, originally airing on Saturday Night Live, May

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