Freaky Florida Humorous Paranormal Mysteries Series

They are old, cranky, and dangerous.   Midlife witch Missy Mindle is also a home-health nurse for vampires. You see, not all vampires are young, sexy urbanites. What happens if you were a senior citizen when you're turned? You move to Florida, of course, to an oceanfront condo tower in Jellyfish Beach. There's even a bloodmobile that shows up each night like a food truck.   But a disturbed ex-con hijacks the bloodmobile, leaving a community of vampires who aren't just hungry, but freaking hangry. Missy's magick is the only way to find the bloodmobile before the residents starve or feast upon their unsuspecting human neighbors.   This novella is your ticket into the Freaky Florida humorous paranormal mystery series. It includes four sample chapters from Snowbirds of Prey, Book 1 of Freaky Florida.

A new kind of paranormal mystery with some very old monsters. Book 1 of a complete series.   Everyone retires to Florida. Even supernaturals. Working as a home health nurse for retired vampires and werewolves, midlife witch Missy Mindle unexpectedly has murders to solve.   A serial killer—human or otherwise—has been depositing bodies drained of blood near Squid Tower in Jellyfish Beach, Florida. If the police discover these beachfront condos are filled with elderly vampires, the residents will be staked on sight. Missy has to play detective with a little help from her magick. She and a cute local reporter try to prove that the murderer doesn't live at Squid Tower—and not get themselves killed in the process.   Snowbirds of Prey kicks off the Freaky Florida humorous paranormal mysteries, a clean, humorous, cozy mystery series filled with magic, monsters, and mystery; sarcasm and satire; and, of course, Florida Man. If you're a fan of paranormal women's fiction and like mysteries with thrills, frights, and laughs, this series is for you. Grab this book and enjoy a vacation in Jellyfish Beach today.   The Freaky Florida humorous paranormal mysteries: Snowbirds of Prey Invasive Species Fate Is a Witch Gnome Coming Going Batty Dirty Old Manatee Gazillions of Reptilians Freaky Florida Books 1-3

Gators. Pythons. Iguanas. Dragons? Why not? It's Florida.   Missy, midlife amateur witch and nurse to elderly supernaturals, has two problems. First, she found a young, injured dragon in the Everglades with a price on its head. Second, her vampire patient Schwartz has disappeared after getting caught by Customs with werewolf blood. (It's like Viagra for vampires. Don't ask.)   There are many bizarre creatures in the Everglades, native and non-native, but who knew dragons were among them? And this isn't just any young dragon. This is a dragon prophesied to restore its species to greatness. That's why an evil, ancient god wants to destroy it, and an almost-as-evil CEO tries to capture it. Missy has to protect the dragon while it heals (and snacks on the iguanas in her neighborhood). Too bad she also must locate and rescue Schwartz before he gets staked. Her best weapon is her not-always-dependable magick. And she is learning that she inherited much more power from the parents she never knew than she had realized.   Invasive Species is the second book in Freaky Florida, a clean, humorous fantasy series filled with magic, monsters, and mystery; sarcasm and satire; and, of course, Florida Man. If you love cozy witch mysteries, the thrills of urban and paranormal fantasy, and a splash of comedy, this series is for you. Think of it as an unholy blend of Amanda M. Lee, Jana DeLeon, Kim Harrison, Shayne Silvers, Christopher Moore, and Carl Hiaasen. Grab this book and enjoy a vacation in Jellyfish Beach today.   The Freaky Florida humorous paranormal mysteries: Snowbirds of Prey Invasive Species Fate Is a Witch Gnome Coming Going Batty Dirty Old Manatee Gazillions of Reptilians Freaky Florida Books 1-3

Embrace your destiny. Even if it kills you.   After a failed marriage and burnout from her hospital nursing career, Missy Mindle has started over in midlife. She's now a home-health nurse to elderly vampires and werewolves in Florida. And she's also improving her craft as a witch.   But suddenly she has two mysteries to solve. First, who is making a series of dangerous magick attacks against her that appear to be tests of her growing witchy abilities? And who is stealing corpses from funeral homes in Jellyfish Beach? When an embalmer is murdered, one of Missy's patients, a werewolf, is arrested. Can she exonerate him?   Oh, and don't forget the hordes of ghouls and Hemingway lookalikes. Who will stop them?   Missy gets plenty of unsolicited advice from a 400-year-old ghost. And also from the Fates. The three ancient Greek goddesses happen to live in a trailer park nearby. They know whether she'll survive or not, but that's the one thing they're not saying.   Fate Is a Witch is the third book of Freaky Florida, a clean, humorous paranormal mystery series filled with magic, monsters, and mystery; sarcasm and satire; and, of course, Florida Man. If you love the thrills of urban fantasy, the wit of cozy witch mysteries and paranormal women's fiction, and a big splash of comedy, this series is for you. Grab this book and enjoy a vacation in Jellyfish Beach today.

They're coming for you.   Can you really blame garden gnomes for having a grudge? They're displayed as kitschy jokes, wounded by weed whackers, peed on by dogs. After midlife witch Missy Mindle seriously bungles a spell, gnomes throughout Jellyfish Beach, Florida, are becoming possessed by an evil force and are exacting retribution. Missy has to undo the fast-spreading spell and stop the surge of "accidental" human deaths. The problem is, her regular job is home-health nurse for elderly supernaturals, and she also has to help solve the murder of one of her werewolf patients. Like the gnomes, the Werewolf Women's Club is out for revenge.   And something is coming for her, too.   Gnome Coming is the perfect place to jump into Freaky Florida, a clean, humorous paranormal mystery series filled with magic, monsters, and mystery; sarcasm and satire; and, of course, Florida Man. If you love the thrills of urban fantasy, the wit of cozy witch mysteries and paranormal women's fiction, and a big splash of comedy, this series is for you. Grab this book and enjoy a vacation in Jellyfish Beach today.

Midlife manatee insanity   Who's behind the plot to kill off Florida's sea cows? While midlife witch Missy Mindle tries to solve this mystery, she must nurse a rescued manatee back to health. The problem is, he's actually a human shifter, Seymour, who wants to celebrate manatee mating season with her.   Missy and her reporter friend Matt face corporate villains and team up with the ruthless Mothers4Manatees. Throw in a vengeful vampire who wants to kill her, and Missy's magick is pushed to the limit. Meanwhile, she discovers what life would have been like if she hadn't divorced years ago: living with a flabby, middle-aged guy who leaves the toilet seat up.   Dirty Old Manatee is Book 6 of Freaky Florida, a humorous paranormal mystery series filled with magic, monsters, and mystery; sarcasm and satire; and, of course, Florida Man. If you love the thrills of urban fantasy, the wit of cozy witch mysteries and paranormal women's fiction, plus a big splash of comedy, this series is for you.

A vampire tale even a caveman would love.   The retired vampires at Squid Tower in Jellyfish Beach, Florida, have it good. Until some ancient vampires show up. These strange bloodsuckers can turn into bats, unlike modern vampires. And they're also a bunch of Neanderthals. No, really. Not all Neanderthals went extinct. Some went undead. And now they want to rule all the vampires of Florida.   Missy Mindle, midlife witch and nurse to elderly supernaturals, uses her magick to help her vampire patients fight back. But when the Neanderthals start taking vampire hostages, and kidnap the daughter of Missy's cousin, get ready for a conflict of prehistoric proportions.   Going Batty is Book 5 of Freaky Florida, a clean, humorous fantasy series filled with magic, monsters, and mystery; sarcasm and satire; and, of course, Florida Man. If you love the thrills of urban fantasy, the wit of cozy witch mysteries and paranormal women's fiction, and a big splash of comedy, this series is for you. Grab a copy of Going Batty today and bring it back to your cave.

Making other paranormal mysteries look tame.   Centuries-old vampires who play pickleball. Aging werewolves who surf naked beneath the full moon. Plus dragons, demons, ghouls, and more. They're all in Florida, land of the weird, where even monsters come to retire. Enter Missy Mindle. She's started over in midlife as a home health nurse for elderly monsters and as a witch with growing powers. She solves mysteries and fights evildoers with help from a cute reporter. But dangerous secrets from the parents she never knew keep bubbling up.   SNOWBIRDS OF PREY Dead bodies, drained of blood, are piling up on the beach beside Squid Tower. Unfortunately, this condo community is full of retired vampires who won't survive if the police find out about them. Is one of their own responsible for the bodies? Or is someone framing them? Missy must solve the mystery.   INVASIVE SPECIES Missy nurses an injured baby dragon she found in the Everglades. And she has to protect it from a deranged python hunter, an evil god, and an almost-as-evil CEO. Meanwhile, one of her vampires has been abducted, and she has to rescue him before he's staked.   FATE IS A WITCH Missy has two mysteries to solve. First, who is making a series of dangerous magick attacks against her? And who is stealing corpses from funeral homes in Jellyfish Beach? When an embalmer is murdered, one of Missy's patients, a werewolf, is arrested. Can she exonerate him?

Are lizards the wizards of doom?   Midlife witch Missy Mindle is busy enough as a home health nurse for elderly vampires and werewolves in Jellyfish Beach, Florida. But now she needs to solve a murder, too. Who or what killed Marvin Nutley, her vampire patient found incinerated on his oceanfront balcony?   Marvin believed in the Reptilian Conspiracy: that Lizard People are taking over the planet. He claimed to have a video showing a human turning into a dragon. He also claimed he shot said dragon. And now there's the threat of all-out war between vampires and dragons, and between humans and every reptile with teeth. To prevent it, Missy needs to find out if Marvin was killed by cold-blooded reptiles or a hot-headed vampire, while she also tries to learn the truth behind her father's murder decades ago.   Gazillions of Reptilians is Book 7 of Freaky Florida, a humorous fantasy series filled with magic, monsters, and mystery; sarcasm and satire; and, of course, Florida Man. If you love the thrills of urban fantasy, the wit of cozy witch mysteries and paranormal women's fiction, and a big splash of comedy, this series is for you.