Mature Magic Series

Talk about your midlife crisis. How was I supposed to know when I bought a pretty country church in a city named Rome that I was acting like a guardian deity? Lares Schmares. Anybody who deifies me needs serious therapy.   I'd always believed the whole "Lares" thing was a family story, nothing more. When I was fifteen I'd looked up the term "Lares" and discovered that they were guardian deities in the ancient Roman religion. Heh. A deity. That's hilarious. I can barely manage my own life, let alone help others with theirs. But…how do I explain a sudden, driving urge to open my candle shop in a pretty white church sitting at the main crossroads of a small town named Rome? I'm not a Lares. That's ridiculous. I'm just a forty-five-year-old divorcee who likes to make candles. How was I supposed to know that buying a church meant becoming the caregiver of a whole array of magical creatures? Still…I'm not going to guard them. No Siree! I'm no guardian deity. That's just…strange.

I'm discovering that glossing over that whole "epicenter of a magical vortex" thing when I took this Lares job was a mistake. Looking back, that now seems like important information. Whoever said midlife was a time for reflection and relaxation clearly wasn't an ancient guardian deity. I'd just started to think I was getting a handle on this whole Lares thing, and then the earth decided to open up into a giant, fiery hole of evil nastiness. Talk about your hot flashes! Add in a deadly new ally, a magical weapon I'm pretty sure I'll never get the hang of, and being forced to play "Where's the Voodoo Queen" while trying to deal with everything else…well…let's just say that crepey skin is probably the least of my worries.

Don't ever let anyone tell you that getting on the wrong side of a curse is a small thing. Even when you think you've got a handle on them, those suckers have a way of jumping up and chewing on your nose before flinging you into the pits of Hell.   Have you ever heard of a Groundhog Day curse? Yeah, I hadn't either. Until somebody put one on a certain goth teenager, who means a lot to me. I'm determined to find the source of Wanda's curse and fix it. But the timetable for that becomes greatly accelerated when she goes missing, and I get a vision of her begging for help. Not good.  The curse has just gone from inconvenient to deadly. Unfortunately, the path to saving Wanda is long, twisted, and fraught with challenges. Did I say challenges? Silly me. We only need to overcome an array of murderous sea monsters. A legendarily wicked crone. Corrupt, power-hungry witches and a cadre of deadly demons. Piece of cake, right? Sigh… I've only been on the job for a couple of months, and already I need a vacation.

One of the great things about midlife is having the experience and knowledge that comes from decades of navigating jerks and mansplainers. Unfortunately, I had nothing in my repertoire to help me deal with a true Trickster.   Amid magical mushrooms, ghosts popping up in unexpected places, dangerous predators, strange pregnancies, barking cats, meowing dogs, and an endless array of other weirdness, I'm facing a foe unlike any I've encountered before as Lares of Rome. My new enemy is determined to destroy my dominion and he doesn't care who he takes out in the effort. He probably doesn't realize it yet, but he's in for a curse, swear, curse of a battle. It's going to take the combined effort of an entire town and all of my council and allies, but I have no intention of giving my people over to the type of madness the Trickster generates.

I'm trying to find my missing Council member, which might involve visiting the spectral plane. Something that I'm strangely not looking forward to. (sarc) The last thing I need is this...this mess. Achieving my full powers feels like mega-menopause, hot flashes and all. Unfortunately, these flashes can actually burn.   Something's changing. Something big. I'm finally achieving the last stage of my Lares power. I realize the transformation is going to be hard. It's going to be painful and confusing. I know all of this because my advocate, the world's crankiest moon hound and consummate know-it-all was elated to inform me about it. What I didn't know was that I'd be trying to save one of my council members and beating back a demon invasion in the middle of the whole mess. Unfortunately, this is all starting to remind me of my initiation into the Lares gig. I barely survived that transition. I'm not so sure I'm going to survive this one.