The Crime Diaries Series

WINNER OF THE AMAZON.CO.UK WRITERS' BURSARY AWARD (2002)   The first and original 'crime diary' from Brit-crime author, Danny King.   Bristling with a razor-sharp wit and dubious observations, The Burglar Diaries is the first person account of Bex, a two-bit crook who makes his living from house-breaking in small-town suburbia. Not the sharpest of tools in the box, Bex and his partner, Ollie, get into their fair share of scrapes as they trawl the night looking for open windows and easy money. A lippy raconteur, Bex often shares his thoughts on life, which are as dodgy as his mates, to offer a hilarious insight into the mind of the petty criminal.   Adapted for TV by the BBC.   "King wisely stop short of turning Bex into a simple lovable rogue. He continually slags off everyone else in the book, including his friends, yet is himself utterly egocentric, immoral, disloyal and stupid, so that his narrative offers ambiguous pleasures" – The Independent   "Hilariously un-PC account of the jobs he has known and loved – the line-ups, the lock-ups and cock-ups. If ever there was an antidote to Bridget Jones's Diary this is it" – The Mirror   "Occasionally hilarious if morally dubious, The Burglar Diaries is well-worth buying – and definitely worth half-inching" – GQ Magazine   "... a collection of very funny burglary blunders in which King successfully humanises a bunch of people often considered to be worthless, gutless b*stards. Wonderful therapy for anyone who has been a victim of crime and one of the best reads of the year" – The Big Issue In the North

Chris Benson looks up to his older brother. In fact, everyone looks up to Chris's older brother. Most have no choice when they're lying on their stomachs in the middle of Barclays bank.   But when Gavin Benson gets sent down for 15 years, the somewhat unprofessional trio of Chris, Sid and Vince are left without a ringleader. As if Chris hasn't got enough problems, his adulterous partner Debbie is spending money faster than he can steal it, his sexually frustrated sister-in-law needs a man about the house and the Neighbourhood Watch Scheme want to sign him up for a tour of duty.   With more cock-ups than hold ups, The Bank Robber Diaries is every bit as hilarious and wickedly un-PC as Danny King's best-selling debut, The Burglar Diaries, and guaranteed to leave you laughing all the way to the bank.   'One of the few writers to make me laugh out loud' – David Baddiel, comedian   'Hilarious, if morally dubious. Well worth buying – and definitely worth half-inching' – GQ   'Low on morals but big on laughs' – BBM   'If you like your humour raw, rude and raucous, The Bank Robber Diaries will leave you wanting more' – Yorkshire Evening Post   'Mercifully free of mockney claptrap... and extremely funny' – FHM

Ian Bridges has a job he excels at, works his own hours and earns good money but he's not a happy chappy. He wants more from life and longs to find that special lady to share his success with. The problem is, the only women he ever meets in his line of work usually end up dead. More often than not, by his own hand.   But Bridges is not to be put off. He's determined to keep trying. One day he will meet Miss Right. Even if it means killing every woman in Britain.   'One of the few writers who can make me laugh out loud' – David Baddiel, comedian   'King's writing is sharp and his humour as black and Donald Rumsfeld's heart' – Maxim   'Danny King is quickly becoming the Nick Horny of British crime fiction' – The Big Issue in the North   'King's prose has no limits of resource, invention and cracking humour' – London Student Guide   'A politically incorrect read that'll make you both wince and smile' – Tangled Web UK   'The Hitman Diaries is very funny and so compelling that once started it has to be finished – a fundamental quality of successful crime novels. A grubby, guilty pleasure' – The Times

Bex and Ollie are a couple of small-time burglars. They eke out a living by robbing shops, burgling factories and emptying offices around the back-water town of Tatley. Bex is the brains. Ollie drives the van.   Neither is particularly ambitious, preferring to think small and live comfortably rather than aim high and risk time. But things are about to change. No one can evade responsibility forever.   Following on from Danny King's best-selling debut, The Burglar Diaries, and based on the BBC comedy series, Thieves Like Us, narrator Bex takes us on another tour of Tatley's rooftops and drainpipes, and through more lock-ups, cock-ups and jobs as he recounts More Burglar Diaries.   Featuring an introduction by the author, a full novelisation of all six episodes and an all-new and final adventure for literature's least likely heroes.