The Sacral Series

Her breathing became shallow and laboured and the paramedics were talking about what was happening… "milligrams of this, heart rate dropping, breathing erratic… need to get there quick" all of it sounding as though she was back underwater where she belonged.   She imagined herself floating, sun on her face, bobbing along on the crest of the waves miles out to sea.   He said he loved her. Everything seemed perfect. She wanted to believe it. Apparently, she'd find it hard to have someone else love her.   One drunken night, he nearly killed her. In three years, she was spiked and raped twice, on nights out with him.   Toxic narcissistic love, and this is just the beginning.   Moana is the first of nine true stories written as fiction, because sometimes you just can't make this shit up.

He was outgoing, the shining star in the social firmament. She was reserved and timid as a mouse. He seemed to have it all; the notoriety, the love of the community, the successful business and the money that came with it. She rarely left the house and had the love of a man who protected her fiercely. And then there was Pandora. A defiant loner, quiet like her mother, she was obsessed with cold water, with holding her breath until she turned blue, scaring her mother and father. Disappearing for days, she would return only to disappear again into her room and into her books. Each was locked inside their own secret, all held together by one single thread, which if revealed, would bring their community to its knees. The question was whether to save face, family and fortune, or to save others?

There are wifely duties, and there is obeying your husband. In public he was the kind hearted Pastor, the voice of reason and wisdom in those moments of need. Behind closed doors he was a monster, and the reign of terror he inflicted was worse than the devil himself. Finding the courage and the strength to leave is one thing, taking that courage out on to the streets is another. No longer was it acceptable for women and girls to be mutilated, raped and abused, but just how far was she prepared to go, and who – if anyone – would stand with her? Now was the time to come out of hiding. Now was the time to stand together, because if not now, when? And if not Alpha, who? Would any of these women stand and fight for their rights?

Looking at her younger brother and sister, she knew something bad had happened. The silence in the house was no longer a welcome relief; it was deafening, all encompassing. Then the police came, and then a nice lady, then something about a new family. Everything a blur, until she became lost in her own silent world of colour and canvas. Being the unwanted child of a prostitute, life was never going to be easy. Becoming a sister gave her life meaning, then they were taken away from her. Who was she now? Where were they taking her? And would the sounds of her mother's screams haunt her forever more?

Abused and bullied by the Imam during Qur'aan class, the children left one by one. They didn't tell their parents because they had been sworn to secrecy, and to question the Imam or the religion was just not something you did. Questioning any kind of religion or those who held a role of leadership was not respectful and you could go to hell fire because of it. Questioning the holy books means you are an unbeliever, an infidel, and yet questions gives us clarity, a deeper understanding and respect, and anything that withstands scrutiny is robust, so why is questioning forbidden? Fatih, one of the children bullied in the mosque dared to seek answers, then began learning more about Islam at home with his grandpa-dadda which was just what his soul and his mind had been yearning for. Encouraged to connect the dots of history and geography with the holy teachings of all religions, Faith ventured on a journey of self-discovery and enlightenment in the world of meta-physics and the quantum realm. As he got older, he became increasingly aware of the judgments, and the sexual, financial, emotional and spiritual abuses inflicted upon believers of all religions across the world. Then in 2005 his family home got raided, leaving him, his siblings and his parents devastated, fearful, suspicious and re-evaluating who they were as individuals and as a family. The 7/7 London bombings made many reflect what it meant to be British; but as a target of the anti-terrorism laws, the growing racism and the Islamophobia across Britain, Faith was now identified as a Muslim or a terrorist. Never as a man, a human, or a British citizen. Who was he? And what had the bombings in London done to the people of Britain? What had happened to the concept of religion? Something that used to be a peaceful bond between people, providing a place of solace for the local community and strangers alike. Religion had become a prison, a grip around the hearts and minds of people, a tool in the political arena to cause division and hatred. Different factions started creating a controlling force of 'them versus us' rather than the love, kindness and generosity that the prophets espoused. In the beginning, the people needed something to believe in, something bigger than themselves, to know their suffering wasn't for nought, but then religion became the suffering, the isolation, the exclusion and the vehicle of abuse. With the need to increase influence and profits the mainstream media realised how easily it was to use their platforms to increase fear amongst the people, deepen hatred and break down communities in order to promote their own agendas, and the agendas of those who own them and advertised with them. Religion had now taken its place as a dangerous weapon used to cause wars across the world, within communities and more unbelievably within families. The people started to become lazy, started believing the lies, and choosing to accept blindly the scriptures of all holy books. They stopped seeking, stopped questioning and ultimately cut off their connection to their own soul. This book explores what it means to question, to seek the answers to the meaning of life, and encourages us all to connect the dots. It is about knowing the difference between what it means to have faith and what it means to have a religion, because they are not mutually exclusive. To have a religion doesn't mean to have faith, and to have faith doesn't equal believing in religion. Faith is internal. Religion is external. And it is time humanity started looking deep within for the answers rather than seeking approval and acceptance from those outside of themselves. It is about believing in oneself, having faith in ourselves, each other and the natural world around us.