Darren Johnson's Best Short Stories Series

Including eight disparate tales ranging in length from short story to novella, plus one huge crossover because crossovers are fun: THE BABY HUNTER: When mutant superhuman babies cause the apocalypse, you need... The Baby Hunter. They hunt us. He hunts them. CHASING COWQUEST: After thirty years, it seems someone has finally broken Max's record on a mysterious arcade game called Cowquest. With his wife's permission, he's returning to his hometown to get it back. QUINCUNX: In the final game of the Scrabble Championships, one player makes a move no one saw coming. MALTZIE: A CAT'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY: For anyone that's ever had a special little fuzzface in their life. Adopted as a kitten, Maltzie immediately forged a bond with his humans that only grew stronger with time. THE 2ND AMENDMENTERS: They worship the only Amendment that matters (to them). Second Amendment! TYRONE JACKSON AND THE HALF-COURT DUNK: Harry Potter meets Boyz n the Hood in this explosive parody. Includes special bonus features. Exclusive to this compilation: IT WAS A GIFT FROM GOD, THEY SAID: Everyone on Earth is suddenly "blessed" with the gift of flight. Why question it? THE BEST DAMN COP ON THE FORCE: You don't get to be the best without taking a few risks. THE GREATEST CROSSOVER OF ALL TIME: They're some of the worst, most poorly written characters ever created by one man in 2018. Now their worlds are about to collide. They thought they had problems before… Featuring all your favorite (and least favorite) characters from the above compilation. A thriller.

Flying monuments. Quantum, time-traveling historians. Controllable back hair. Unidentified bussing objects. 14 separate tales plus one immense crossover bringing them together because why not: SPEEDING STEALTH BUS: Its attacks on pedestrians both terrorized and crippled the nation. Now it's back and just as stealthy — and violent — as ever. THE GREATEST LOVE STORY THAT ALMOST WAS: They had the perfect relationship until fate stepped in. You won't see *this* sappy story around the holidays. SINGLE ELIMINATION EARTH: Eight billion competitors forced to fight to the death against their will. One winner. THE LAST CHANCE: He's been unsuccessful for ages. It consumes his every thought. And now, as the last human on Earth, he has one more chance. SITUATIONAL: Even though their lives are the same, they don't feel quite right. Something is either wrong with them — or everyone else. A QUICK, NEIGHBORLY PROBLEM: The ride's over and your language skills suck. Let the insults fly! 5 YEARS THE VILLAIN: Kidnapped by aliens, he's been given five years to help humanity clean up their act. The catch? He's marooned in an alien spacecraft stuck in orbit. One can't save the human race without pissing a few billion of them off. THE LESSON: If you don't brainwash your kids, who will? Oh, Father O'Malley! Yay! THE UNWONTED 5: Five strangers with "useless" powers come together to form something more. Sorry, bad guys. THE REARRIVALS: The old gods are back and tearing things up, baby! You know, maybe someone *should* question them. INTERVIEW WITH A CANDIDATE: A HORROR STORY: Even the devil would be disgusted by this guy. Do they not care in Alabama, or what? STUR TRONK: Captain Alex Q.T. Pecks has been charged with maintaining the peace. I give it a week. LIMO RIDER: He's used to riding in limos. However, he's also used to being let out. TIME TRAVEL ROMANCE: As Written by a 12-year-old Purely for the Money: subtitle says it all. THE GREATEST CROSSOVER OF ALL TIME 2: All the bad guys from the stories above are teaming up to take over the world(s) and then some. All the good guys are trying to stop them. Note: knowledge of the first (2018's) Greatest Crossover is NOT required. Heck, it's not even recommended. You like crossovers? Well, this is crossover-er than any of them!

Time-traveling assassin couples. Death-thwarting biology speakers. Intragalactic Oblivanda competitions. 14 separate tales plus one immense crossover bringing them together because why not: THANK YOU FOR THE STORY: Cleaning up errant timelines is hard work. Sometimes, you just need to talk about your day with your significant other/archnemesis. FUTURE SERVANT: The future calls, desperately needing help. Elderly Vivian Allbretter answers. PLANNEDEMIC: How the pandemic "actually" happened. Think it's fake news? No. It's worse. THE REPRESENTATIVE EARTHLING ATHLETE: Chad Finworthy has been chosen to represent Earth in the cerebral sport of Oblivanda and save the galaxy. Now he just needs to score some goddamn points. THE FREQUENTLY DEPARTED: Mikal "Mike" Lund demonstrates his unique talent to a college biology class. THE SUPPORTERS: They support their cult leader no matter what. AGE IS MORE THAN A NUMBER: If you or a loved one suffers from time dilation, well, maybe don't orbit so close to a supermassive black hole next time. NPC PROTESTATIONS: When you and your army keep losing to the same guy, something ain't right. HOW TO THINK REPUBLICAN: Joining a cult requires more than just pure brainlessness, you know. DOCTORS DON'T KNOW ANYTHING: God is never wrong. Doctors are ONLY ever wrong. Wait, that can't be right... THE FOUND CHAPTERS: The best chapters appear to be missing from an amazing story. These are the rest. TRAINING'S END: Kidnapped and trained by the future, he's back to save the present. The biggest challenge? His girlfriend. THE ABORTED ONE: He survived his own abortion, forced to wander the world as a fetus until saved by conservatives. That is, if you believe a single word of his story. A CHRIST-MOOSE STEER-ACLE: A holiday romance story like any other, except better because there's TWO puns in the title! THE GREATEST CROSSOVER OF ALL TIME 3: The bad guys from the stories above are screwing with the timelines and trying to invade Earth. It's up to the good guys to (1) realize this, (2) find one another, and (3) lay the smack down. Note: knowledge of the first two Greatest Crossovers is NOT required. Do you like crossovers? Who doesn't! Well, this is crossover-er than any of them!