A group of illegal migrants in Denver have a list of 13 demands before they will move out of the city. Filling in for Glenn, Pat and Jeffy go through the list of very reasonable and thought-out demands. Jeffy goes through his "Fat 5" news stories, including a self-service cheese dispensary, Utah being declared the best state in America, and most Americans wanting Disney to return to family-friendly content. Jeffy goes through some of the biggest lies Biden has told against his 2024 opponent, former President Donald Trump. Pat and Jeffy discuss Barron Trump's potential political future. The guys expose presidential candidate RFK Jr.'s latest lie. Defamed investor Sam Bankman-Fried was sentenced to decades in jail for defrauding his investors, but now his investors are getting all their money back, plus interest. The Left is trying hard to rid society of plastic bags, gas-powered vehicles, and minimum sentences. 
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