What does Narcissism look like when it puts on church clothes?! Narcissism and its effects are common in churches today, but the church is often the last place we would expect to find narcissistic people and behaviors.
Unfortunately, many modern church systems actually attract narcissistic leaders. But what does narcissism look like when it's in a church? How can we recognize spiritual narcissists and narcissistic systems? And when you recognize it, what should you do?

We are joined in this episode of the Church Disrupted Podcast by Chelsey Brooke Cole, best-selling author of the book "If I'd Only Known" and narcissism expert. She and Jeff tackle these questions and more as they take a deep look at narcissism in churches and the devastating effects it can have on people.

Connect with Chelsey and learn more about her work here!
- https://www.instagram.com/chelseybrookecole/?hl=en
- https://www.chelseybrookecole.com/

Get Chelsey's book here: https://rb.gy/4bhk89

Check Out the Recent USA TODAY article Chelsey Contributed to here: https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2024/03/21/spiritual-narcissism-narcissists-at-church-yoga-class/73047346007/

THANK YOU to our podcast partner, the East TN Mentorship Association! Find out more information about what they do or connect with them at https://earnyoursanctuary.com/ . TELL THEM WE SENT YOU for a special rate that is ONLY for Church Disrupted Podcast listeners.

Find out MORE about our podcast partners here: https://www.disrupted.church/sponsors.

Want to support Church Disrupted financially?
https://www.disrupted.church/give

Find out more about the Church Disrupted Podcast at https://www.disrupted.church/.

Please Subscribe and Share!


TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Introduction and Background
01:24 Defining Narcissism and NPD
11:24 Narcissism in Spiritual Environments
16:28 Can Systems be Narcissistic?
25:36 Blame Shifting and Villainizing
28:49 Reframing the Problem
30:01 Narcissistic Systems in Church
32:20 Twisting Scripture
33:13 Exploiting Tithing
34:12 Disagreement in Narcissistic Systems
35:03 Understanding Healthy Relationships
37:11 Making Church Trauma-Informed
38:13 Accountability in Narcissistic Systems
39:12 Moving On Without Accountability
40:08 Making Church Safe for Victims
41:08 Supporting the Abuser vs. the Victim
43:10 Restoring Pastors and Accountability
45:07 Expecting Reality, Not Assuming the Worst
46:17 Narcissists' Manipulation Tactics
48:16 Restoration and Accountability
49:05 Manipulating the Perception of Change
50:15 Expecting Accountability, Not Assuming the Worst
53:17 Toxic People and Healthy Boundaries
59:23 Narcissists' Reaction to Boundaries
01:00:37 Importance of Boundaries and Self-Care
01:01:06 The Importance of Setting Boundaries
01:02:03 The Charismatic Nature of Narcissists
01:03:00 Gaslighting and the Desire for Control
01:04:20 The Manipulation of Loyalty
01:06:46 Protecting Yourself Against Narcissism
01:07:18 Overcoming Guilt and Shame
01:08:30 The Importance of Documentation
01:14:39 Feeling and Processing Pain
01:24:30 Untangling the Narcissist's Voice