*** EXPLICIT LANGUAGE & WARNING ***
This podcast video includes discussions of topics such as rape, religious guilt, victim-blaming, and alcohol-induced blackouts. LISTENER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

Laverne wakes up from a black-out drunk evening on top of an aircraft carrier with her clothing torn and disheveled. On her way off the boat, she gets saluted by the sailors on board for reasons she cannot recall. By the time they "toot the big horn" at her, she suspects the worst. Running to the nearest church for confession, she asks if she can still make it into heaven in light of her "bad deeds." The priest recommends a sabbatical at a nunnery as an act of contrition. But unlike stuffy old monasteries, the silent nuns who worship here break up the monotony with pottery, football, roller skating, and pickle smuggling. Laverne causes chaos at every turn, until she causes one of the nuns (Louise Lasser) to break her vow of silence. Through her connection to this struggling nun, Laverne gets one last try at being a good girl -- if she can contritely ask for forgiveness from the Big Man Upstairs.

Look, we're not going to lie - we rip this episode a new one. On pod, it gets rough, until Chris goes off on a Dark Souls tangent (and revenge movie recommendation list), Lisa tries not to get flashbacks to Catholic school, and ultimately we give Monastery Story a once-over with a sledgehammer.