Struggling author Junior P. Harmon (Larry Manetti) hires Alex Kellaway (Charles Knapp), a jolly and obese man, as his new agent. Upon meeting with Junior, Kellaway tells him that there is only one way he can make his novels succeed: animal sacrifice. As such, Junior regularly begins ordering and sacrificing animals, his work becoming more and more successful with each sacrifice. Alex also tells him that if he wants his dream novel to succeed, he needs to escalate the sacrifices.

Written and directed by John Harrison, based on a story by Ron Goulart.
Original airdate: February 2, 1986