Are you following someone else's rules? Viv Groskop talks to poet Hollie McNish about the value of working out your own way to do something - even if it takes time. Hollie discusses her efforts to unlearn society's unhelpful lessons about being female, including frank conversations with her grandmother. And she explores nerves, pressure, being apologetic - and the sadness of putting poems about her gran into the past tense. You can find out more about Hollie and her new book, Slug and Other Things I've Been Told to Hate at holliepoetry.com  Viv's book, Lift As You Climb is out now. @vivgroskop