I've received countless emails from people who have discovered that their partner has a kink they didn’t previously know about—and, now, they’re not sure what to do because they're not into it. So what do you do when you're a vanilla person and it turns out that your partner has a kinky streak? The fact that you both want different things from sex doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship, so let's talk about how to make it work.

I am joined once again by Stefani Goerlich, award-winning author of The Leather Couch: Clinical Practice with Kinky Clients. Stefani is also a Certified Sex Therapist and organizer of the upcoming Securing Sexuality conference. Her latest book is titled With Sprinkles on Top: Everything Vanilla People and Their Kinky Partners Need to Know to Communicate, Explore, and Connect.

Some of the topics we explore include:

For people who are worried that they're "too vanilla," what do they need to know?
How can people better navigate the strong feelings they might have when discovering a partner's kink?
When partners have different fantasies and desires, how do you find common ground?
How can opening up a relationship help partners bridge a sexual desire discrepancy?
Is it always possible to make things work when partners want very different things from sex?

To learn more, check out Sefani's website.

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.