Between the age of 20 and 40 I was consumed with a wide range of existential questions, but despite endless thinking and reading, I never found a single answer. Due to some business-related stress at the age of 40, I started a simple meditative exercise as a way to acquire some peace of mind, and within two weeks a major insight occurred that led to more meditative activities. Five months later a huge cosmic-consciousness event answered seven of my questions and catapulted me into a different reality. I then concluded that all answers were "within," and for the next 15 years I went on silent meditation retreats with Christians, Buddhists, and Advaita groups during which all of my other questions got answered. Nevertheless, I still did not feel free. Then, a new question arose, "How is it possible to stay in a unity-conscious state of mind permanently rather than oscillating between a sense of selfhood and no-self?" In 1999, after a deep experience of gratitude on a solo hiking retreat, "the little guy in the head" (the sense of a personal "me") totally vanished, and the result was freedom, contentment, and understanding.

Book: Pouring Concrete: A Zen Path to the Kingdom of God – Expanded Edition

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Interview recorded August 19, 2023

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