The Torah commands in Parashat Behar (Vayikra 25:17), “Ve’lo Tonu Ish Et Amito” – that we may not cause our fellow distress. The Sages understood this command as forbidding “Ona’at Debarim” – inflicting pain through the spoken word. For example, it is forbidden to remind a Ba’al Teshuba (penitent sinner) about misdeeds that he committed in the past, as this would cause him embarrassment. Likewise, if someone has taken ill, Heaven forbid, or suffers some other sort of hardship, it is forbidden to tell him that the crisis has befallen him because of his misdeeds. This kind of hurtful speech constitutes “Ona’at Debarim.” Another example is recommending to someone who needs to purchase a certain product that he should go to a particular store, knowing that this store does not sell the product. Such pranks fall under the prohibition of “Ona’at Debarim,” because it causes the individual distress through words. It is also forbidden to walk into a store and inquire about the merchandise if one has no intention of purchasing anything, as this causes the merchant distress. The Sefer Ha’hinuch explains that the Torah forbade speaking hurtful words to one’s fellow because this provokes anger and leads to conflict. Peace is the means through which blessing is received, and fighting brings ruin and destruction. The Torah therefore commanded us to refrain from speaking hurtfully to people, in order to maintain peace and avoid conflicts. This Misva applies in all times and in all places, and to both males and females. It is forbidden to speak hurtfully even to a child, and even to one’s own child. Parents must therefore ensure to discipline their children in a manner which does not inflict emotional harm. One who speaks to his fellow hurtfully violates this prohibition, but he is not liable to Malkut, because this prohibition is violated without performing an action. The Sefer Ha’hinuch concludes his discussion of this Misva by noting that this prohibition does not forbid responding in kind to a hurtful remark. If somebody approaches a person and speaks hurtfully to him, that person has every right to respond, even sharply. The Sefer Ha’hinuch writes that just as the Torah permits a homeowner to fight back against a burglar who has broken into his home (a case known as “Ha’ba Ba’mahteret”), the Torah also permits one to fight back against verbal abuse. The reason, the Sefer Ha’hinuch explains, is because the Torah cannot expect a person to be “Ke’eben She’en Lo Hofchin” – like a stone which people step on and kick around, freely abused without responding. It is unrealistic for the Torah to demand that we simply remain silent when people insult or humiliate us. Moreover, remaining silent appears as an implicit admission to what is being said, and the Torah certainly does not expect a person to accept harsh insults being hurled at him. However, the Sefer Ha’hinuch adds, when responding to a verbal attack, a person should strive to do so in a moderate, tempered manner, and limit his anger as much as possible. Moreover, it is a measure of piety to remain silent in the face of verbal abuse. The Gemara famously promises great reward to “Ha’ne’elabin Ve’enan Olbin, Shom’in Herpatam Ve’enam Meshibin” – those who do not respond when they are insulted and humiliated. This is an exalted level of piety to which we should all strive, but on the level of strict Halacha, one is not required to remain silent when he comes under verbal attack.