Oh no, A.J. is leaving town for four whole days! Of course Jessica can't be expected to keep it in her pants for that long, so she picks up a random bloke on the beach and embarks on a weekend of romance. But when she tells hunky Christopher her boyfriend is coming home, he starts bombarding her with phone calls and threatening to reveal all. If AJ finds out about her betrayal, Jess will be denied the chance to be queen of yet another dance!

Yes, after a string of dull books about characters no one cares about, we're back in classic Sweet Valley territory. Hurrah! Meanwhile Liz takes her doormat ways to dangerous new levels, everyone's favourite flat-faced bitch is on top form, and we reveal the Sweet Valley equivalent of big d**k energy.

You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the HeadStuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadStuff